Do you feel helpless when someone asks for support?
As time gently rolls into mid-summer, we find ourselves still living amidst anxiety, change, and uncertainty due to the chaos of the coronavirus. Though we have adjusted somewhat to this “new normal” that everyone is talking about, we are still facing the unknown – Is it getting better or worse? Will my job open up soon or will it stay closed? Can we resume some of our “regular” life or not right now?
There are certain aspects of human behavior that tend to come out during times like these:
- It’s normal to feel fear or anxiety during times of great uncertainty.
- It’s normal to want to talk about it and turn to others for support.
- It’s normal to feel helpless and powerless when someone is telling you how afraid or anxious they are.
Lincoln Park Therapy Group Founder Nicolle Osequeda is featured in this New York Times article exploring ways to support someone when they share their fears with you. What to Say When People Tell You Their Coronavirus Fears shares specific tactics you can use when someone is confiding in you about their fears.
When someone shares their fears with you, it’s important to hold space for them to feel their feelings. As Nicolle mentions in the article, being overly positive can feel dismissive and result in that person feeling unheard or unsupported. Jumping right into problem-solving can also have a similar effect.
Nicolle suggests in the article that we should reflect what that person is telling us – phrases like “I can’t imagine how that must feel” or “I can hear how scared you are” might feel inconsequential but they can actually be very powerful statements that reflect and validate what the person is saying.
To read the full NY Times article, What to Say When People Tell You Their Coronavirus Fears, click here.
Giving and receiving support though this time is crucial. Make sure to check in regularly with the people you love, reach out for help if you need it, and make an appointment with us if you find yourself overwhelmed with stress, anxiety, or depression. You can also click here to get our eBook, How to Practice Self-Care During Times of Crisis.
Nicolle Osequeda, LMFT, is the founder of Lincoln Park Therapy Group, specializing in anxiety, depression, and relationship counseling in Chicago. As a Certified Daring Way™ Facilitator, she incorporates Dr. Brené Brown’s research into her therapy. Nicolle holds a Master’s in Counseling Psychology from the University of San Francisco and is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in Illinois and California. She is a Clinical Fellow of AAMFT, a member of IAMFT, and the Financial Therapy Association. Nicolle has Gottman Method training and has taught at DePaul University, dedicated to helping individuals and couples achieve meaningful change. 
