Traveling with your partner can be an exciting and enriching experience—but it can also come with its fair share of challenges. While vacations are meant to be fun and relaxing, the reality is that navigating different travel styles, budgets, and expectations can sometimes lead to stress and bickering.
That’s why planning ahead is key to ensuring a trip that strengthens your relationship rather than strains it.
Lincoln Park Therapy Group Founder Nicolle Osequeda was recently featured in a New York Times article, How to Plan the Perfect Trip With Your Significant Other This Summer, which explores the ins and outs of traveling as a couple and offers practical tips for making the most of your trip—without unnecessary tension.
The article dives into the psychology behind travel conflicts, offering valuable insights on how to align your expectations, plan together, and manage different travel preferences. And while it’s written for couples, many of the tips apply to solo travelers or friends vacationing together as well!
Common Travel Challenges for Couples
Before we get into solutions, let’s talk about why travel can sometimes bring out the worst in couples. Even the strongest relationships can be tested by the pressures of being in a new environment, managing logistics, and spending extended time together.
Some of the most common travel stressors include:
- Budget disagreements: One partner may prefer luxury, while the other wants to save.
- Differing travel styles: Some people love a packed itinerary, while others prefer a more laid-back approach.
- Decision fatigue: Too many choices—where to eat, what to do, how to get around—can lead to frustration.
- Unrealistic expectations: Expecting a “perfect” trip can lead to disappointment when things don’t go as planned.
- Overpacked schedules: Trying to fit everything in can lead to exhaustion and short tempers.
Fortunately, these challenges can be avoided with thoughtful planning and open communication.
How to Travel Well Together
1. Start With a Budget Conversation
Money is one of the biggest sources of conflict in relationships—and that tension doesn’t disappear on vacation. Before booking anything, have an honest conversation about your travel budget.
Consider discussing:
- How much you’re each comfortable spending on the trip.
- Whether you’ll split expenses equally or proportionally based on income.
- What parts of the trip (hotels, food, activities) are worth splurging on and where you want to save.
Talking about money upfront can prevent financial surprises and resentment during the trip.
2. Plan the Itinerary Together
It’s easy for one person to take the reins on planning—especially if they’re the “planner” in the relationship. However, for a trip to feel balanced, both partners should have a say in what the itinerary looks like.
Make a list of must-do activities for each person, then compromise where needed. If one of you loves history and the other prefers beach lounging, try alternating days or splitting up for certain activities.
According to Nicolle Osequeda, getting both partners’ needs met is key to a successful trip. That means respecting each other’s preferences and creating a schedule that allows for both structure and flexibility.
3. Manage Expectations—and Embrace Imperfection
Vacations are not immune to stress, delays, or unexpected hiccups. Flights get delayed, reservations get mixed up, and sometimes, the weather just doesn’t cooperate.
To avoid disappointment, manage expectations before you leave.
- Accept that not every moment will be Instagram-perfect.
- Be flexible—things won’t always go exactly as planned.
- Prioritize connection over the itinerary—memories matter more than checking off a list.
Research even suggests that shorter trips are often more enjoyable than longer ones because they help prevent travel fatigue. So don’t be afraid to keep it simple!
4. Build in Downtime
Not every moment of a trip has to be packed with sightseeing and activities. In fact, leaving space for rest and spontaneity can help keep stress levels low.
Some ideas for built-in downtime:
- Scheduling a leisurely morning instead of rushing out early.
- Leaving a free afternoon to relax by the pool or explore at your own pace.
- Having separate solo time—grabbing coffee alone, reading, or journaling.
This allows each partner to recharge, helping prevent burnout and irritability.
5. Use Conflict Resolution Skills on the Road
Even with the best planning, disagreements will happen. Maybe one of you wants to wake up early for sunrise photos, and the other wants to sleep in. Maybe you get lost, and tensions start to rise.
When conflict arises, focus on de-escalation:
- Take a deep breath before responding emotionally.
- Use “I” statements instead of blaming (“I feel frustrated when we rush” vs. “You’re ruining this trip!”).
- Take a break—sometimes stepping away for a few minutes helps reset the mood.
Remember, how you handle conflict is more important than avoiding it altogether.
Strengthen Your Relationship Through Travel
Travel can strengthen a relationship by creating shared experiences, deepening understanding, and building problem-solving skills as a couple. The key is approaching it as a team—aligning expectations, compromising where needed, and being flexible when things don’t go as planned.
If you and your partner struggle with travel stress or communication issues, working with a therapist can help. At Lincoln Park Therapy Group, we specialize in helping couples improve communication, resolve conflicts, and create healthier, more fulfilling relationships—both at home and on the road.
Want to read the full New York Times article? How to Plan the Perfect Trip With Your Significant Other This Summer
Looking for more relationship insights? Check out these blog posts:
Five Words for Lasting Relationships – In this article by Drake Baer, she covers five words for lasting relationships.
Why We Feel Shame & How to Conquer It – Shame is something we all experience.
Navigating Holiday Travel: How to Keep Your Sanity & Your Savings – Planning and logistics of travel can be both stressful and costly.
Need extra support in your relationship? Schedule a session with one of our therapists today—we’d love to help you build a relationship that thrives, at home and abroad.
Nicolle Osequeda, LMFT, is the founder of Lincoln Park Therapy Group, specializing in anxiety, depression, and relationship counseling in Chicago. As a Certified Daring Way™ Facilitator, she incorporates Dr. Brené Brown’s research into her therapy. Nicolle holds a Master’s in Counseling Psychology from the University of San Francisco and is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in Illinois and California. She is a Clinical Fellow of AAMFT, a member of IAMFT, and the Financial Therapy Association. Nicolle has Gottman Method training and has taught at DePaul University, dedicated to helping individuals and couples achieve meaningful change. 
