If you’re wondering how to make friends in a new city, you’re not alone. Moving somewhere new is exciting — and it can also be surprisingly lonely, even for the most outgoing people.
The thrill of a new neighborhood, a new routine, a new beginning — it’s real. So is the quiet ache of not having anyone to call yet. Learning how to make friends in a new city as an adult takes intention, but it’s absolutely possible. Most people who’ve figured out how to make friends in a new city will tell you the same thing — it takes longer than you expect, but it’s worth it.
Why Making Friends in a New City Feels So Hard
Making friends as an adult is genuinely different from making friends as a kid. There’s no built-in structure — no classroom, no dorm, no automatic proximity to the same people every day.
You have to create those opportunities yourself. And that takes effort, vulnerability, and a willingness to feel a little awkward before things start to click.
Even the most gregarious extroverts find this challenging. If you’re also navigating the emotional weight of a major move, life transitions therapy can help you process the adjustment while you find your footing in a new place.
How to Make Friends in a New City: 5 Proven Strategies
1. Use Apps and Online Communities
One of the easiest ways to start learning how to make friends in a new city is to go where other people in the same situation are already gathering.
Meetup is one of the best tools for this— you can find groups organized around almost any interest, and many cities have dedicated “New in Town” groups full of people who are exactly where you are. City Socializer is another great option for meeting people in interesting local spots.
For women specifically, GirlFriendCircles and Hey!Vina connect you with other women in small, low-pressure group settings. If you have a dog, the Meet My Dog app is a surprisingly easy way to spark conversations with other pet owners nearby.
2. Say Yes to Workplace Connections
Your coworkers are one of the most natural entry points into a new social world. Accept lunch invitations. Show up to after-work events even when you’re tired.
It takes time, but consistent presence leads to invitations — and invitations lead to friendships.
3. Take a Class or Join a Group
Taking a class gives you two things at once: something you’re genuinely interested in, and repeated exposure to the same people over time. Repeated exposure is actually one of the strongest predictors of friendship formation.
CourseHorse is a great resource for finding classes on almost anything in your city. Beyond classes, consider:
- Joining a gym, running group, or recreational sports league
- Volunteering for a cause you care about
- Connecting with your college alumni network
- Finding a local place of worship if that’s meaningful to you
- Joining a professional networking group like the Young Professionals of Chicago
4. Reach Out Through Your Existing Network
Ask your friends back home if they know anyone in your new city. Most people are genuinely happy to make an introduction — and having one familiar connection can make a new place feel significantly less daunting.
Use social media to find friends of friends in your area. A warm introduction is always easier than a cold start.
5. Be Open and Give It Time
This is the part nobody talks about enough: making friends in a new city takes longer than you expect. Most adult friendships take months of repeated contact before they feel truly close.
Be patient with the process. Say yes to things even when you’re not sure you’re in the mood. And when you can share a little vulnerability — admit that you’re new, that you’re still finding your people — connection tends to follow.
When Loneliness Feels Like More Than Just an Adjustment
If you’ve been trying to connect but still feel isolated, it may be worth looking at what’s getting in the way. Social anxiety can make new social situations feel genuinely threatening — not just uncomfortable — and that’s something therapy can help with directly.
You don’t have to white-knuckle your way through a new city alone. Support is available.
You can schedule an appointment using our online scheduler or by emailing us at appointments@lincolnparktherapygroup.com.
Nicolle Osequeda, LMFT, is the founder of Lincoln Park Therapy Group, specializing in anxiety, depression, and relationship counseling in Chicago. As a Certified Daring Way™ Facilitator, she incorporates Dr. Brené Brown’s research into her therapy. Nicolle holds a Master’s in Counseling Psychology from the University of San Francisco and is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in Illinois and California. She is a Clinical Fellow of AAMFT, a member of IAMFT, and the Financial Therapy Association. Nicolle has Gottman Method training and has taught at DePaul University, dedicated to helping individuals and couples achieve meaningful change. 
