Something I’ve been noticing lately—both in myself and in sessions—is how hard it can be to let something go.
Whether it’s a misunderstanding, a comment that landed wrong, or the quiet pressure to prove we’re doing enough… surrender doesn’t always come naturally.
But sometimes the most powerful thing we can do—for ourselves and the people we love—is stop gripping so tightly.
The Parenting Moment That Brought It Home
Not long ago, my son and I were at an Italian restaurant. Everything was fine—until he realized they didn’t have French fries. He shut down. Refused to tell me what was wrong. Demanded we leave.
I tried all the usual things: distraction, a walk, coloring. Nothing worked.
Eventually, I took a breath and said, “You’re having really big feelings right now. I get it. The one thing I know about feelings is—they don’t last forever. They come and go, like waves.”
I offered to just sit with him. No fixing, no forcing. Just presence.
A few minutes later, I remembered his current obsession with crutches and asked if he wanted to look at some photos together.
That moment brought him back. He ordered his pasta. Ate it. Totally fine.
It reminded me that surrendering isn’t giving up. It’s letting things move through instead of trying to control what happens next.
It’s meeting the moment with compassion, not resistance.
And sometimes, that’s what creates the shift we were hoping for all along.
What Elsa—and Yoga—Taught Me About Letting Go
I’ve seen Frozen more times than I can count, thanks to my son’s dramatic reenactments. But only recently did I really see it.
Elsa’s story isn’t just about magic. It’s about hiding your true self to protect others. About staying in control so you don’t get hurt.
The truth is, a lot of us do the same thing.
We carry the weight of staying calm, being competent, proving we’re enough.
We believe if we can just hold it all together, no one will be disappointed—or worse, hurt.
In yoga recently, my teacher asked:
“What are you holding onto that no longer serves you?”
That’s when it hit me: I overexplain. I defend. I try to make people understand me—especially when I feel unseen.
Like when my husband made a light comment about me “not working much” while I’m on parental leave.
The truth? I’m running a business. Raising a child. Managing a household. And yes, writing this blog.
I felt the urge to list it all. Prove it all. Defend myself against a comment that wasn’t meant to hurt, but still landed hard.
And then I heard myself say:
Let it go.
I don’t need everyone to see everything. I don’t owe anyone an explanation of my worth.
And more importantly—I don’t want to spend my energy trying to be understood in ways that exhaust me.
What Are You Holding On To?
We all have our version of the metaphorical French fries.
Here are a few gentle questions to reflect on:
- What expectations—of yourself or others—are you carrying too tightly?
- Is there something you’re trying to explain or fix that no longer needs your energy?
- What might shift if you trusted that some things can pass on their own?
Sometimes, the hardest part of letting go is not knowing what comes next. But letting go doesn’t mean losing yourself. It often means coming home to yourself.
Letting Go Is a Practice
Yoga helps me surrender by slowing me down—through stillness, breath, and presence.
Parenting teaches me that, too. Sometimes my son reminds me to take a deep breath when I need it most.
Letting go is not a single decision. It’s something we practice—over and over—until one day, our grip softens and our hearts open just a little more than before.
Surrender isn’t weakness. It’s wisdom.
And the more we practice it, the more natural it becomes.
If You’re Feeling the Weight…
If you’re feeling the pressure to hold it all together—or unsure how to loosen your grip—therapy can help.
At Lincoln Park Therapy Group, our Chicago-based therapists are here to help you find space, softness, and emotional clarity.
Reach out today to get matched with a therapist who gets it.
Additional Resources
Self-Compassion as Self-Care – 5 Simple Tools for Mental Health and Well-Being
Embrace Wellness and Adventure in Chicago’s Summer
Embracing Gratitude: Finding Joy in Life’s Subtle Moments
Nicolle Osequeda, LMFT, is the founder of Lincoln Park Therapy Group, specializing in anxiety, depression, and relationship counseling in Chicago. As a Certified Daring Way™ Facilitator, she incorporates Dr. Brené Brown’s research into her therapy. Nicolle holds a Master’s in Counseling Psychology from the University of San Francisco and is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in Illinois and California. She is a Clinical Fellow of AAMFT, a member of IAMFT, and the Financial Therapy Association. Nicolle has Gottman Method training and has taught at DePaul University, dedicated to helping individuals and couples achieve meaningful change. 
