Lincoln Park Therapy Group is honored to have Erin Carpenter, LCSW and Founder of Thrive Counseling as a guest author.
“Why can’t I stop thinking about my past?”
I get this question a lot. Someone will come into my office, plop down on the comfy couch and say “I can’t stop thinking about the past. It’s so upsetting. Why can’t I get over this?”
Why the Past Stays with Us
Often things that have happened in the past don’t stay there. They stick with us, popping into our minds when we least expect it. And it just won’t leave. Sometimes things that happened in our past seem to start bothering us years (or even decades) after the event.
Usually the past that barges into the present are in the form of memories of events that were intense and hurtful. Like a breakup, an assault, an accident, an illness or abuse. The event is over, but our memories of that event remain and begin to bother us.
The Importance of Processing the Past
This is very upsetting and, at the very least, annoying. The reason is that these past hurts need to be processed. Processing can take different forms, but the most common way to process our past consists of:
- Talking about what happened
- Identifying how it felt at the time
- Identifying how it affected you, both at the time it happened and how it continues to touch your life
- Gaining a new perspective on the event from the vantage point of where you are now
How Therapy Helps
Usually this happens in therapy. I work with my clients every day to process the past so that they can live in the present. I understand how uncomfortable it can be to be visited by memories of hurt, abuse, or loss. But it’s visiting because it requires your attention. The past wants to stay in the past, but it may need a little work before it can truly rest and you can move forward.
Embrace the Journey of Healing
Try not to be frustrated with yourself if you can’t stop thinking about the past. It’s a normal and healthy thing that your brain does in order to get your attention. It’s saying “hey, this thing needs to integrated into your life now. It’s over but I haven’t processed it yet.”
If you’re struggling with thoughts of “why can’t I stop thinking about my past?” you’re not alone. Many people feel stuck replaying old memories, unsure of how to move forward. It’s important to recognize that these persistent thoughts are often a signal from your mind, urging you to address unresolved emotions or trauma. Seeking help from a therapist can guide you through the process of understanding and processing these memories, allowing you to find peace and live more fully in the present. Don’t hesitate to take the first step towards healing and reclaiming your present and future.
So be sure to listen to yourself. If you can’t stop thinking about your past, reach out to a therapist and begin the journey of moving past your past.
And if you are in the Chicago area and interested in therapy services, you can learn more about starting here.
Or if you’re ready to get started, reach out to us and schedule an appointment.
GUEST AUTHOR
Erin Carpenter, LCSW is the Founder of Thrive Counseling. She loves therapy and is passionate about helping people. A published author and public speaker, Erin specializes in Trauma work, Eating Disorders, and Anxiety. Erin loves to snowboard, spend time with her family, and bike to work in the summertime.
Nicolle Osequeda, LMFT, is the founder of Lincoln Park Therapy Group, specializing in anxiety, depression, and relationship counseling in Chicago. As a Certified Daring Way™ Facilitator, she incorporates Dr. Brené Brown’s research into her therapy. Nicolle holds a Master’s in Counseling Psychology from the University of San Francisco and is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in Illinois and California. She is a Clinical Fellow of AAMFT, a member of IAMFT, and the Financial Therapy Association. Nicolle has Gottman Method training and has taught at DePaul University, dedicated to helping individuals and couples achieve meaningful change. 
